C - [0 3 2 0 1 0] F - [1 3 3 2 1 1] G - [3 5 5 4 3 3] Am - [0 3 2 0 1 0] Shuffle all the C chords from the initial C - [0 3 2 0 1 0] shape to this different G - [3 2 0 0 1 0] shape every quarter note to make it sound more like the real song. Just go ahead and listen to the song to get the rhythm if you're not quite sure what I'm talking about. It's not too difficult. Sing it to your sweethearts :) [Verse] C I like telling dirty jokes, C And I like smoking crystal meth, F G C But darling I love you. C And I like laughing at retards, C And I like throwing rocks at dogs, F G C But darling I love you. [Chorus] F G I love you like the moon and stars, C Am When little kids get hit by cars, F G C Girl you know it's true. F G C Darling, I love you. [Verse] C I've been tryin' to move on, C since you left, Since you've been gone, F G C but it's so hard on me. C Talked to a girl in first hour, C bought her a cd, Bought her a flower, F G C but she's a stupid cunt. [Chorus] F G C Am But I'll take anything, and I'll take anyone. F G C Am I'll take an angry lesbian with a loaded gun. F G C Am I'll take a whore with syphilis and gonorrhea too. F G C But darling, I love you.