#----------------------------------PLEASE NOTE---------------------------------# #This file is the author's own work and represents their interpretation of the # #song. You may only use this file for private study, scholarship, or research. # #------------------------------------------------------------------------------# Date: Sat, 29 Nov 1997 14:06:32 -0600 From: "Michael K. Moseley" Subject: Subject: PRO: The_Vasectomy_Song.crdpro by Larry Heagle The Vasectomy Song by: Larry Heagle Also performed by One-Man Johnson in Iowa City Tabbed by: Mike Moseley ([email protected]) I heard this song on public radio about 15 years ago and have been playing it for my friends ever since (taking time out for work, food, sleep and personal time, of course). For those of you not knowledgeable, the Vas Deferens is what gets clipped in a 'Vas'ectomy. ========================================================================= [C]Well, I went to see my doctor, I said, "Doc, I can't pay my bills[G] The rent's all spent and my truck's got a dent And I think I'm a-gettin' the [C]chills >From bein' forced to sleep alone, oh, this house just ain't a [F]home We can't [G]afford no more kids My life in on the skids Cause my woman says, 'Leave me al[C]one' Unless I get a va[G]sectomy, I gotta get a va[C]sectomy Just [G]one little male alteration, can [C]save [no chord] us from an other altercation It's a [G]vasectomy, I gotta get a va[C]sectomy Oh what a [F]vas defer[G]ens it could [C]be." [C]Well, the next thing I knew I was layin' on the table With the lights shinin' in my eyes[G] They strapped my wrists and they strapped my ankles And they double strapped my [C]thighs The nurses were gigglin' and I was wigglin' most uncomfort[F]ably When the [G]doctor walked in with a perverted grin And here's what he said to [C]me, "It only hurts for a little while[C] That's what they [Am]tell me that's what they say, eh heh heh" [C]Well it's two weeks later and I feel a little better And my mind is more at ease[G] The rent's still spent, my truck's still got a dent But my woman's no longer a [C]tease And even down at the office, there's a lot more interest in [F]me Oh, the [G]girls all grin when I walk in And brother they mean to [C]please A man with a va[G]sectomy, you oughta' get a va[C]sectomy Well, like a [G]Sunkist orange, I've been freed Cause [C]it's [no chord] all juice and there's no seed With a [G]vasectomy, you oughta' get a va[C]sectomy Oh, what a [F]vas defer[G]ens it could . . . .[no chord] Now here is the part that I like the most It takes the danger out of bein' close Want a [F]vas defer[G]ens it could . . . . [no chord] The snipped those little suckers right in two And then they clamped 'em off with Super Glue What A [F]vas defer[G]ens it could [C]be. [G] [C] [G] [C] ========================================================================= Best regards to Larry Heagle and One-Man Johnson. I hope this brings a smile or at least a wince.
