Stunned to find not a single Jake Thackray ballad here.
If you've not heard any of Jake's work then I strongly suggest you check him out
on Youtube and read his bio at www.jakethackray.com
A true wordsmith in idiosyncratic English humour.
The Lodger – Jake Thackray
Am E
My landlady had three lovely daughters.
E Am
They used to come and make my bed each day
Am E
They used to come and clean my living quarters,
E Am
But their mother made quite sure they didn't stay.
F
There was Mary: she seemed chary;
C E
There was Helen: she seemed well and truly sceptical
Am
about my qualities;
F C
There was Julie: she was truly well-proportioned, but her
E Am
Caution Brought exhaustion on my aching arteries.
Am E
But I was wrong: they weren't at all impervious
E Am
To the possibilities of high romance -
Am E
And I sensed a certain girlish nerviness
E Am
In the way they folded my pyjama pants.
F
And I was right, for late one night
C
Sweet little Mary, like a fairy,
E Am
As I lay sleeping, came a-creeping to my side.
F C
She was mine: it was divine - but we were doomed, for very soon
E Am
Into the room came sister Helen, and she cried:
A D E A
"Mary, go to bed!" Off Mary went.
A D E A
"Now, young man," Helen said, "for your punishment,
A D E A
"We mustn't have a fight, we mustn't make a row:
A D E Am
"Turn off the light - it's my turn now!"
Am E
Well, after all, I'm young and relatively vigorous,
E Am
And though I still protest my innocence,
Am E
By temperament I'm strictly un-polygamous,
E Am
And if I sinned, I sinned in self-defence.
F C
Nevertheless I must confess I wouldn't miss that
E Am
sort of bliss And when it ended I was rendered comatose.
F C
When, loud and clear, very near, in my ear a loud
E Am
voice spoke And I was awoken from my post-coital doze.
A D E A
"Helen, go to bed!" Helen went away.
A D E A
"Now, young man," Julie said, "you will have to pay!
A D E A
"You've blighted Helen's charms, filched her purity.
A D E Am
"Open up your arms - come and filch me!"
Am E
I was amazed, and really rather tired;
E Am
I thought I'd given all that I could give.
Am E
A little kip was all that I desired,
E Am
But I'm British, so my upper lip was stiff.
F C
She was chaotic, idiotic, quite exotic and ecstatic,
E Am
Acrobatic and emphatically fine.
F C
All to no good, for when I could open my eyes, to my
E Am
surprise I found her mother looking into mine.
A D E A
"Julie, go to bed!" Julie left the scene.
A D E A
"Now listen, Ma," I said, "I know the old routine.
A D E A
"I'll do what you like, but I shall be vexed
A D E Am
"And I'll bloody well go on strike if Grandma's next!"
Listen to the recording on youtube it's a nice simple tune
and fun to play for friends. This is my first attempt so any
comments or corrections welcome. cheers BigMick
