[Verse 1]
G C
The old man was covered with tattoos and scars, he got some in prison and others in bars
D G
The rest he got workin' on old junk cars in the daytime
G
They looked like tombstones in our yard
C D G
And I never seen him when he wasn't tired and mean
[Verse 2]
G C
He sold used parts to make ends meet, covered with grease from his head to his feet
D G
Cussin' the sweat and the Texas heat, and mus-keeters
G
And the neighbors said we lived like hicks,
C D G
But they brung their cars for Pa to fix anyhow.
[Verse 3]
G C
He was vet'ran proud, tried and true, he'd fight till his heart was black and blue,
D G
Didn't know how he'd made it through, the hard times
G
He'd bought our house on the G.I. Bill,
C D G
But it wasn't worth all he had to kill to get it
[Verse 4]
G C
He drank pearl in a can and Jack Daniels black, chewed tobacco from a mail-pouch sack,
D G
Had an old dog that was trained to attack, sometimes
G
He'd get drunk and mean as a rattlesnake,
C D G
And there wasn't too much that he would take, from a stranger
[Bridge]
C D G C
There was 13 kids and a bunch of dogs, house full of chickens and a yard full of hogs,
D C G
Spent the summertime cuttin' up logs for the winter
C D G C
Tryin' like the devil to find the lord, and workin' like a nigger for my room and board,
D G
Coal burnin' stove, no natural gas, and if that ain't country, I'll kiss your ass.
[Chorus]
G C D G
If that ain't country, it'll hairlip the pope,
G C D G
If that ain't country, it's a damn good joke
C D G C
I've seen the Grand Ole Opry and I met Johnny Cash,
D G
And if that ain't country, I'll kiss your ass.
[Instrumental Break]
G C D G
[Verse 5]
G C
Momma sells eggs at a grocery store, my oldest sister is a first-rate whore,
D G
Dad says she can't come home anymore, and he means it
G
Ma just sits and keeps her silence
C D G
Sister she left 'cause Dad got violent, and he knows it
[Verse 6]
G C
Momma she's old, far beyond her time, from choppin' tobacco and I seen her cryin'
D G
When blood started flowin' from her calloused hand, and it hurt me
G
But she'd just keep workin', tryin' to help the old man,
C D G
From the end of one row and back again, like always
[Verse 7]
G C
She's been through hell since Junior went to jail, and when the lights go out she ain't never failed,
D G
To get down on her knees and pray, 'cause she loves him
G
Told all the neighbors he was off in the war,
C D G
Fightin' for freedom, he's good to the core, and she's proud
[Verse 8]
G C
Our place was a graveyard for automobiles, at the end of the porch there was 4 stacks of wheels,
D G
And tires for sale for a dollar or two, cash
[Bridge]
C D
There was 50 holes in an old tin roof
G C
Me and my family was livin' proof,
D
Of people who forgot about poor white trash
G
And if that ain't country I'll kiss your ass
[Chorus]
G C D G
If that ain't country, it'll hairlip the pope,
G C D G
If that ain't country, it's a damn good joke
C D G C
I've seen the Grand Ole Opry and I met Johnny Cash,
D G
And if that ain't country, I'll kiss your ass.
[Outro]
G C
I'm thinking tonight of my blue eyes
D G
Concerning the great speckled bird
G C
I didn't know god made honky-tonk angels
D G
And went back to the wild side of life
