Turnpike Tom Steve Goodman D First time I met old Turnpike Tom Sittin' in a diner in Bloomington G D He said "Are you going my way?" He had a sleeping bag and his hat was torn And both his thumbs were two feet long From years of hitchin' on the hi-way F Em Am He said "Mister, won't you give me a ride F Em Am A I'm a wanted man lookin' for a place to hide" D Oh, we finished the coffee and we got in the car We drove off and hadn't gone far G D When Tom began to tell me his sad story... He said "Long around 1942 Buddy, I robbed a bank in Kalamazoo Just to get enough money to marry my true darlin' But she died when she heard what I had done And ever since I've been on the run Standing on the hi-ways a callin' F Em Am A callin' mister won't you give me a ride F Em Am A I'm a wanted man lookin' for a place to hide" D Said "Now I'm gettin' old and ready to die Too tired to run and too sick to try G D And soon I'll be hitchin' upstairs in the skyway..." [spoken] Oh, play that again... D He said "I can't pay you for the ride Just once before I die G D I'd like to do somebody a favor" And out of his pocket came a rusty old key Along with a map and he give 'em to me And said "Here's an end to all your labor" F Em Am "Way down in Greensboro, Tennessee F Em Am A In the back of Rusty's Roadside Cabaret D There's 20,000 in unmarked green The money I stole that's in the machine G D That hangs on the wall in Rusty's Roadside men's room" So, three nights later at Rusty's door I had a beer and then I had one more Then I headed for the treasure Just like old Turnpike Tom had said The machine was under a sign which read Sanitary 3-for-a-quarter F Em Am So I took out the key and I broke the lock F Em Am A There to my bewilderment and shock D I found a sign which read "You've just been had In a sanitary way by Turnpike Tom G D The outlaw with the fastest sense of humor" And if you meet someone with a troubled mind Well, just give him the key and feed him the line And tell him his days will soon be better F Em Am Yes, and mister, you've been taken for a ride F Em Am A There ain't nothin' but fools gold here inside D Oh, the real gold, that's inside us all Remember that you only fall for G D Lies and stories when you really want to
