Titties And Beer
Frank Zappa
From the album Zappa In New York
F# B A E
F# B
It was the blackest night!
A E
There was no moon in sight!
F# B
(you know the stars aint shinin
A E
Cause the skys too tight)
F# B
I heard the scary wind!
A E
I seen some ugly trees!
F# B
There was a werewolf honkin,
A E
Long the side of me!
B A E F#
Im mean n Im bad, (yknow I aint no sissy)
B A E F#
Got a big-titty girly by the name of chrissy
B A E F#
Talkin about her n my bike n me...
B A E F# E F#
N this ride up the mountain of mystery, (mystery)
(how re you doin? )
F# B A E
I noticed even the crickets
Acted weird up here
And so I figured I might
Just drink a little beer
I said, gimme summa that what yer suckin on...
But there was no reply
Cause she was gone!
(B A E F# progression)
Wheres those titties I like so well,
N my goddam beer!
Is what I started to yell, then I heard this noise
Like a crunchin twig, n up jumped the devil!
(hes about this big!)
(F# B A E progression)
He had a red suit on
An a widows peak
An then a pointed tail
N like a sulphur reek,
Yes, it was him awright,
I swear I knowed it was!
He had some human flesh
Stuck underneath his claws
You know, it looked to me
Like it was titty skin!
I said, you son-of-a-bitch!
(cause I was mad at him!)
He just got out his floss
N started cleanin his fang
So I shot him with my shooter,
Said: bang! bang! bang!
For this Section just play the B A E F# progression in powerchords or fifths (if you
don't know what a powerchord is).
i.E. B5 A5 E5 F#5
Then the sucker just laughed n said, put it away...
You know, I ate her all up...now what you
Gonna say?
You ate my chrissy? titties n all!
Well, what about the beer then, boy? were the cans
This tall?
Even her boots? would I lie to you?
Shit, you musta been hungry! yes, this is true.
Well don't they pay you good for the
Stuff that you do?
Well, you know, I can't complain when the checks come through...
Well I want my chrissy, n I want my beer
So you just barf it back up now, devil,
Do you hear?
Blow it out your ass, motorcycle man! I mean, I am the devil,
Do you understand? just what will you give me
For your
Titties and beer? I suppose you noticed this little
Contract here... yer goddam right, you son-of-a-whore,
Don't call me that
That's about the only reason
...gimme that paper...bet yer ass I'll sign...
Cause I need a beer, n it's titty-squeezin time
Man, you can't fool me...you aint that bad...
I mean you shoulda seen some of the souls I had...
Why there was milhous nixon n agnew, too...
N both of those suckers was worse n you...
Well, lets make a deal if you think that's true
I mean, you're the devil, so whatcha gonna do?
(improvised dialog)
Wait a minute...a tinge of doubt crosses my mind...when you say...
That you want to make a deal with me...
That's very, very true
Im only interested in two things
Yeah?
See if you can guess what they are
I would think...uh...lets see, maybe stravinsky...
Ill give you two clues. let go of your pickle
What?
Let go of your pickle!
Im not holding my pickle
Well, whos holding your pickle then?
I don't know...shes out in the audience...
Hey dale, would you like to come up here and hold
My pickle to satisfy this weird man out on the stage?
Im only interested in two things, and that's
Titties and beer
You know what I mean?
What?
Titties and beer
Titties and beer
Titties and beer
Titties and beer
Titties and beer
Titties and beer
Titties and beer!
Titties and beer!
I don't know if you're the right guy?
Titties and beer!
Titties and beer!
No! don't sign it! give me time to think!
...hold on a second, boy, cause...that's
Magic ink!
(back to F# B A E)
Then the devil barfed
N out jumped my girl
They heard the titties plop-ploppin
All around the world, she said:
(Just keep Playing B here)
I got three beers n a fist fulla downs,
An I'm gonna get ripped, so fuck
You clowns!
(F# B A E progression)
Then she gave us the finger!
(it was rigid n stiff)
That's when the devil, she farted
An she went right over the cliff!
The devil was mad!
(I took off to my pad)
I swear I do declare!
How did she get back there?
I swear I do declare!
How did she get back there?
I swear I do declare!
How did she get back there?
I swear I do declare!
How did she get back there?
