Intro:
G#, C#
Fm, C#
G# C#
Such was the expression of the child
Fm
As he bounced across my windscreen
C#
And off the other side.
G#
That I got the strong impression
C# Fm
For a second that he wasn't so much angry
C#
As incredibly surprised.
C# D#
As I watched him in my rear view mirror slowly slip away,
C# D#
I turned to my instructor and I felt I had to say,
G# C C#
Do you think we should reschedule the test?
G# C C#
'Cause I'm starting now to think it might be best.
Fm
Either way, I'm pretty sure
C#
You could have taught me clutch control
D# G#
In a playground that was emptier than this.
G#, C#
Fm, C#
G# C#
Such was the blind panic of the boy scouts
Fm
As I backed into the duck pond
C#
In the middle of the green.
G#
That it became a little clearer
C# Fm
Why the mirror said that objects featured in it
C#
Might be closer than they seem.
C# D#
As I watched the displaced goldfish flapping vainly on the grass
C# D#
I smiled at the policeman and I felt I had to ask,
G# C C#
Would a fifty maybe make this go away?
G# C C#
'Cause I really don't have time for this today.
Fm
Besides which how am I supposed to learn to drive
C#
When everywhere I turn there's
D# G#
Five or six small children getting in the way.
Fm
C#
I would later learn that was the moment
A# Fm
The SWAT team was mobilised
C#
And that the car chase that followed
A# Fm
Was globally televised.
In fact I'm told that they
C# A# Fm
Still use the footage for police training video
C#
And though I've not seen it personally
A# G#
I've learned that it basically shows
(From here to the end just repeat the intro pattern G#, C#, Fm, C#)
C# Fm
Me and my instructor tearing down the autobahn
C# G#
Doing ninety in a Mazda with the handbrake on
C# Fm
Ploughing recklessly through traffic, cones and trees.
C# G#
I am Thelma to his terrified Louise
C# Fm
And all the while I got him screaming in my head
C# G#
That I should probably change up out of second gear,
C# Fm
Check my mirrors, keep my hands at two and ten
C# G#
And maybe give some thought to turning myself in.
But in spite of everything,
C# Fm
We made it to the border
C#
Though the last two miles was in reverse
G#
Up the hard shoulder.
That old car was dead,
C# Fm
But somehow we'd survived.
We climbed out of the wreck
C# G#
And solemnly high-fived.
So that's how me and my instructor
Moved to Switzerland.
Opened up a little cafe
In the hinterland.
And though I never got my licence, in the end,
I found something so much better
A brand new, bestest friend.
