This song is written by Stephen Lynch, and I saw a video for it on Youtube. I decided to figure it out. This tab may have mistakes, but it's as close as I can get it, so hope you like it! Tuning is standard. It begins with the intro: Stephen Lynch(spoken): "Because of my great love of the theater, I'm writing a musical. It's going to be a huge hit on broadway, I feel it. I'm going to try one of the songs out tonight, and I've written out some dialogue. I want you guys to play the characters who interact while I sing the song. It's about a guy who's sort of down on his luck, life has not been treating him well, he just went through a break up, he goes to a bar, and he meets a girl and they immediately hit it off. Let's see what happens, okay? You get to play the girl (hands Rod Cone a sheet of paper). You get to play the main character, named Stephen(hands paper to Joberg). So, let me set the stage. It's a dark, snowy December and Stephen is walking. He walks into a bar, and then it show him and a girl laughing. Then you go back to the apartment where you live, and this is the song." Intro: Am C/G F E|----0-----0------1-| B|--1-----1------1---| G|---2-----0------2--| D|-------------------|Play 2 times. A|-0-----------------| E|-------3------1----| Verse 1: Am C/G F E|----0-----0------1-| B|--1-----1------1---| G|---2-----0------2--| D|-------------------|Play 4 times. A|-0-----------------| E|-------3------1----| Am C/G F Oh my God. Am C/G F I feel sick. Am C/G F Drank too much. Am C/G F Whiskey dick. Verse 2: Am C/G F E|----0-----0------1-| B|--1-----1------1---| G|---2-----0------2--| D|-------------------|Play 4 times. A|-0-----------------| E|-------3------1----| Am C/G F Try so hard... Am C/G F with this chick. Am C/G F Still too soft... Am C/G F whiskey dick. Ooooooooooh (sustain during dialogue between Rod Cone and Joberg, while playing intro) Spoken: Rod: It's okay Stephen, it happens to everyone! I was just looking forward to your massive twelve inch cock inside of me. Joberg: I know. This has never happened to me and my twelve inch cock before, and I've been with literally thousands of women. Rod: And left them all satisfied I hear. Why don't we take a break and try again later? Joberg: Okay, Megan Fox. Verse 3(strummed lightly): Am C/G F E|-5-----3------1----| B|-5-----5------1----| G|-5-----5------2----| D|-7-----5------2----|Play 4 times. A|-7-----3------3----| E|-5-----3------1----| Am C/G F Rise it must! Am C/G F Point to prove! Am C/G F Wait I just, Am C/G F Felt it move! Verse 4(same as 3, chord wise) Am C/G F E|-5-----3------1----| B|-5-----5------1----| G|-5-----5------2----| D|-7-----5------2----|Play 4 times. A|-7-----3------3----| E|-5-----3------1----| Am c/G F Try ag---ain! Am C/G F Have no doubt! Am C/G F Now it's in! Am C/G F Just fell out... Oooooooooh (same as before) Spoken: Rod: Want to try it in my mouth? Joberg: It's so frustrating! It's like trying to push a bull with a rope(?)! (both laugh) Rod: That's hilarious! Joberg: I know. Rod: What's it like to be so funny AND have a twelve inch cock? Joberg: Don't forget my Tony nomination. Rod: Tell you what, you get some rest and I'll lie here and pleasure myself while looking at your massive twelve inch cock. Joberg: My massive twelve inch cock? Rod: Your massive twelve inch cock. Good night, Stephen. Outro: Am C/G F E|----0-----0------1-| B|--1-----1------1---| G|---2-----0------2--| D|-------------------|Play 4 times. A|-0-----------------| E|-------3------1----| Am C/G F Had to try. Am C/G F Gave up quick. Am C/G F Sleep now my.... Am C/G F whiskey dick. End scene.
