A Christmas Carol
by Tom Lehrer
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Christmas time is here, by golly,
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Disapproval would be folly,
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Deck the halls with hunks of holly,
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Fill the cup and don't say "when."
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Kill the turkeys, ducks and chickens,
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Mix the punch, drag out the dickens,
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Even though the prospect sickens,
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Brother, here we go a-gain.
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On Christmas day you can't get sore,
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Your fellow man you must adore,
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There's time to rob him all the more
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The other three hundred and sixty-four.
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Rel-ations, sparing no expense'll
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Send some useless old utensil,
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Or a matching pen and pencil.
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SPOKEN - "just the thing I need! how nice!"
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It doesn't matter how sin-cere it
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Is, nor how heart-felt the spirit,
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Senti-ment will not en-dear it,
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What's im-portant is the price.
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Hark the her-ald tribune sings,
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Ad-ver-tis-ing wondrous things.
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God rest ye merry, merch-ants,
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May you make the yule-tide pay.
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Angels we have heard on high
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Tell us to go out and buy!
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So let the raucous sleigh bells jingle,
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Hail our dear old friend Kris Kringle,
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Driving his reindeer a-cross the sky.
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Don't stand underneath when they fly by.
