Down to the Old Pub Instead
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stephen Lynch
*corrected and improved version, by: skoglundkrist*
[fast] [faster]
Strumming pattern is somewhat just on feeling but a good starting pattern is: D D U U D DUDUDU
INTRO:
G D C D
VERSE 1:
G D
Lad it's your duty to find you a lass
C D
with child-bearing hips and a pink supple ass
G D C D
And make her you wife and love her with love so true
G D
Now, some rivers run high some rivers run low
C D
When her river runs red then she's starting her flow
G D C D
And it's called menstruation and here's what it means to you
Em C
You will notice her bloomers are spotty at first
G D
Stand back, her ovarian dam 'sgonna burst
Em C
Son, don't be afraid it's a natural thing
G D
Just wind up some cotton and hand her some string
C
Put the old linens on top of the bed
C D G D C D
get out of the house and go down to the old pub instead.
VERSE 2:
G D
She'll retain her water her breasts will be tender
C D
And every third word that you say will offend her
G D C D
Get out of the house and go down to the old pub instead
G D
And she'll want to make love if you do you’re a fool
C D
Cause you'll only end up with a bloody ol’ tool
G D C D
Get out of the house, down to the old pub instead
Em C
And she'll want you to sample the fruit of her loins
G D
But son it'll taste like some old rusty coins
Em C
So turn off the lights boy and take off your hat
G D
And drop to your knees say a prayer to saint pat
C
Then he'll give you the strength to get out of the bed
C D G D C D
And for Ireland's sake go down to the old pub instead.
VERSE 3:
Em C
Now the pub is the place where the lads are a meeting
G D
When the moon's full and the girls are a bleatin
Em C
The catholic, the protestant even the pagan
G D
The pub is the place when your lady is raggin
C
So drink of your pint boys and thank your shamrocks
C
That as men folk we don't have to bleed from our cocks
C
And that we can escape from the lady in red
C D G (strum slowly)
And get out of the house and go down ..(pause).. to the old pub instead.
