G Em
Gather ye 'round
D G
And I'll tell you a tale
G Em
Of all the great times
Am7 D
I've had with an ale
G Em
There's joy and there's glory
D G
More than you can think
G Em D
Yes this is what happens to me
G
When I drink!
C
I pee my pants!
C
My pants!
I pee my pants!
G Em
I get up from the bar
Am7 D
To find pee on my pants!
G Em
I say it's water
D G
but all it takes is a glance
Em Am7
For people to realize
D G
I pee my pants!
White Josh:
Wow, I did not know it was that bad.
Greg:
G Em
Yes wine can be fun
D G
White, Rosé and Red
G Em
'Till I call up my boss
Am7 D
To say I wish he was dead!
G Em
Chase down the regret
D G
With some gin for good luck!
G Em
Then steal my cousin Jim's
D G
Landscaping truck!
Drive home then
C
I puke on my cat!
My cat!
G
I puke on my cat!
G Em
I fall through the doorway
Am7 D
And puke on my cat!
G Em
Poor little Bruno
D G
Did not expect that!
G Am7
I tried for the toilet
D G
But puke on my cat!
G Em
While some can enjoy
D G
A scotch with a steak
Em
Or one glass of wine
Am7 D
Then they're barely awake.
G Em
For me it's much different
D G
What happens when
Em Am7
I try to have one
D G
It just turns into ten.
And then...
C
I fly a plane!
A plane!
G
I fly a plane!
Em
I knock on the cockpit
Shouting
Am7 D
"I'll fly this plane!"
G Em
We emergency landed
D G
The TSA came
G Em
Now I'm banned from Southwest
D G
Cause I try to fly planes!
EVERYBODY!
Everyone:
C
He has sex with a bush!
A bush!
C G
He has sex with a bush!
Greg:
Em
That wasn't a woman?
Everyone:
Am7 D
No it was a bush!
G Em
It had twigs and leaves
D G
Cause it was a bush!
Greg:
Em
That's where that scar comes from!
Everyone:
D G
From sexing a bush!
Em Am7
But he's breaking the cycle
D G
And making a push!
Em Am7
He's quitting his drinking
And saving his
C
Pants and his
G
Cat and
C
Southwest and
G
Jim's truck
Hector:
And my car
White Josh:
My car too!
Everyone:
And a bush!
Josh:
I didn't do anything wrong! YES!
White Josh:
Again, not about you.
