As performed in the 2011 revival of Anything Goes (F, M, and B denote Female, Male and 'Both')
F:
Bb Bdim Cm7 F7
At words poetic, I'm so pathetic
Bb C#dim G7
That I always have found it best,
Gaug Cm Eb F7
Instead of getting 'em off my chest,
Bb Cm7 F7
To let 'em rest unexpressed,
Bb Bdim Cm7 F7
I hate parading my serenading
Bb Gm7 A7
As I'll probably miss a bar,
Dm Gm6 Dm C7
But if this ditty is not so pretty
F7 Faug
At least it'll tell you how great you are.
Bb F7
You're the top! You're the Coliseum.
Bb Gm D7
You're the top! You're the Louvre Museum.
Eb Cm7 F7 Bb F Gm
You're a melody from a symphony by Strauss
A7 Dm G9 C7 F7 Faug
You're a Bendel bonnet, a Shakespeare sonnet, you're Mickey Mouse.
Bb F7
You're the Nile, you're the Tower of Pisa,
Bb Gm Bb7 Bb9
You're the smile on the Mona Lisa
Eb Cm7 F7 Ebmaj7 Gaug G7 C7add6
I'm a worthless check, a total wreck, a flop,
Cm Bb/D Eb F7 Bb A7
But if, baby, I'm the bottom you're the top!
M:
D Ebdim Em7 A7
Your words poetic are not pathetic.
D Fdim B7
On the other hand, babe, you shine,
Baug Em G A7
And I can feel after every line
D Em7 A7
A thrill divine down my spine.
D Ebdim Em7 A7
Now gifted humans like Vincent Youmans
D Bm7 C#7
Might think that your song is bad,
F#m Bm6 F#m E7
But I've got a notion, I'll second the motion
A7 Aaug
And this is what I'm going to add:
D A7
You're the top! You're Mahatma Gandhi.
D Bm F#7
You're the top! You're Napoleon Brandy.
G Em7 A7 D A Bm
You're the purple light of a summer night in Spain,
C#7 F#m B9 E7 A7 Aaug
You're the National Gallery, you're Garbo's salary, you're cellophane.
D A7
You're sublime, you're turkey dinner,
D Bm D7 D9
You're the time, of the Derby winner
G Em7 A7 Gmaj7 Baug B7 E7add6
I'm a toy balloon that’s fated soon to pop
Em D/F# G A7 D F7
But if, baby, I'm the bottom you're the top!
Bb F7
F: You're the top! You're an arrow collar
Bb Gm D7
You're the top! You're a Coolidge dollar,
Eb Cm7 F7 Bb F Gm
You're the nimble tread of the feet of Fred Astaire,
A7 Dm G9 C7 F7 Faug
You're an O'Neill drama! M:You're Whistler's mama! F:You're Camembert.
Bb F7
M: You're a rose, you're Inferno's Dante,
Bb Gm Bb7 Bb9
F: You're the nose on the great Durante.
Eb Cm7 F7 Ebmaj7 Gaug G7 C7add6
I'm just in a way, as the French would say, "de trop".
Cm Bb/D Eb F7 Bb Ab7
But if, baby, I'm the bottom you're the top!
Db Ab7
M: You're the top! You're a dance in Bali.
Db Bbm F7
You're the top! You're a hot tamale.
Gb Ebm7 Ab7 Db Ab Bbm
You're an angel, you, simply too, too, too diveen,
C7 Fm Bb9 Eb7 Ab7 Abaug
You're a Boticcelli, you're Keats! F:You're Shelly! M:You're Ovaltine!
Db Ab7
F: You're a boon, you're the dam at Boulder,
Db Bbm Db7 Db9
M: You're the moon, over Mae West's shoulder,
Gb Ebm7 Ab7 Gbmaj7 Bbaug Bb7 Eb7add6
I'm the nomi-nee of the G. O. P. F:Or GOP!
Ebm7 Edim
M: But if, baby, I'm the bottom
Db/F Bb7
F: But if, baby, I'm the bottom
Ebm7 Db/F Gb Db/F
B: But if, baby, I'm the bottom,
Ebm7 Db/F Gb Gdim Ab7 Db
You're the top!
Reprise:
C G7
C G7
M: You're the top! You're my Swanee river!
C Am E7
F: You're the top! You're a goose's liver!
F Dm7 G7 C G Am
M: You're the baby grande of a Lady, and a Gent.
B7 Em A9 D7 G7 Gaug
F:You're a dress from Saxes, you're next years taxes! M:You're Pepsi-dent!
C G7
F: You're a prize, you're a night at Coney!
C Am C7 C9
M: You're the eyes of Irene Bordoni.
F Dm7 G7 Fmaj7 Aaug A7 D7add6
F: I'm a frightened frog, that can find no log to hop!
Dm C/E F G7 C Ab7
B:But if, baby, I'm the bottom, you're the top!
Db Ab7
F: You're the top! You're a Waldorf salad.
Db Bbm F7
M: You're the top! You're a Berlin ballad.
Gb Ebm7 Ab7 Db Ab Bbm
F: You're the boats that glide on the sleepy Zuider Zee,
C7 Fm Bb9 Eb7 Ab7 Abaug
You're an old Dutch master! M:You're Lady Astor! F:You're broccoli!
Db Ab7
M: You're romance, you're the steppes of Russia,
Db Bbm Db7 Db9
F: You're the pants on a Roxy usher,
Gb Ebm7 Ab7 Gbmaj7 Bbaug Bb7 Eb7add6
I'm a broken doll, M:A fol-de-rol, B:a blop!
Ebm7 Edim
F: But if, baby, I'm the bottom
Db/F Bb7
M: But if, baby, I'm the bottom
Ebm7 Db/F Gb Db/F
B: But if, baby, I'm the bottom,
Ebm7 Db/F Gb Gdim Ab7 Db
You're the top!
