Song: The ballad of Barry and Freda
Artist: Victoria Wood
Tabbed by DJ
27th April 2016
Victoria often took this song at a frenetic pace,
which got even wilder as it progressed.
If you would like it simpler for guitar, take a
slower tempo, miss out the alternating bass notes,
and stick to one key with no modulation.
[Intro and Verses 1 & 2]
Gm = xx5333 D7 = xx0212 F = 133211 G = 320003
C7 = x32310 Gm7/D = xx3333 F6 = 100011 G6 = 320000
Am7 = x02213 C/E = xx2010 Fmaj7 = 133210 G7 = 320001
[Verses 3 to 6]
F = 133211 C7/G = 3x2310 G#dim/B = x2010x
F/C = x33211 F7 = 131211 D7 = xx0212
C7 = x32310 Bb = x13331 G7 = 320001
[Verses 7 to 9]
G = 320003 D7/A = x00212 Bbdim/Db = x4232x
G/D = xx0003 G7 = 320001 E7 = 022130
D7 = xx0212 C = x32010 A7 = x02020
[Verses 10 to 12]
Ab = 466544 Eb7/Bb = x1x323 Bdim/D = x5343x
Ab/Eb = x66544 Ab7 = 464544 F7 = 131211
Eb7 = xx1323 Db = x46664 Bb7 = x13131
[Verses 13 & 14]
A = x02220 E7/B = x22130 Cdim/D# = xx1212
A/E = 002220 A7 = x02020 F#7 = 242322
E7 = 022130 D = xx0232 B7 = x21202
[Verses 15 & 16]
Bb = x13331 F7/C = x31211 Dbdim/E = xx2323
Bb/F = 113331 Bb7 = x13131 G7 = 320001
F7 = 131211 Eb = xx4232 C7 = x32310
[Coda]
Bb = x13331
B = x24442
C = x35553
Db = x46664
*********************************************************
[Intro]
Gm C7 Am7 D7 Gm Gm7/D C/E C7
| / / / / | / / / / | / / / / | / / / / |
[Verse 1]
F F6 Fmaj7 F6
Freda and Barry sat one night,
G G6 G7 G G6
The sky was clear, the stars were bright,
Gm C7 Am7 D7
The wind was soft, the moon was up,
Gm Gm7/D C/E C7
Freda drained her cocoa cup!
[Verse 2]
F F6 Fmaj7 F6
She licked her lips, she felt sub - lime,
G G6 G7 G G6
She switched off 'Gardeners Quest - ion Time',
Gm C7 Am7 D7
Barry cringed in fear and dread,
Gm Gm7/D C/E C7
As Freda grabbed his tie, and said...
[Verse 3]
e |-----------|
B |-----------|
G |-----------|
D |-----0--2--|
A |--3--------|
E |-----------|
F F/C F F/C
Let's do it, let's do it,
F F/C C7 C7/G
Do it while the mood is right,
C7 C7/G C7 C7/G
I'm feeling ...ap - pealing,
F F/C F7
I've really got an appe - tite,
Bb G#dim/B
I'm on fire ...with desire,
F/C D7
I could handle half the tenors in a male voice choir,
G7 C7 F F/C F
Let's do it, let's do it to - night!
[Verse 4]
But he said...
e |-----------|
B |-----------|
G |-----------|
D |-----0--2--|
A |--3--------|
E |-----------|
F F/C F F/C
...I can't do it, I can't do it,
F F/C C7 C7/G
I don't believe in too much sex,
C7 C7/G C7 C7/G
This fashion ...for passion,
F F/C F7
Turns us into nervous wrecks,
Bb G#dim/B
No derision, my decision,
F/C D7
I'd rather watch 'The Spinners' on the television,
G7 C7 F F/C F
I can't do it, I can't do it to - night!
[Verse 5]
But she said...
e |-----------|
B |-----------|
G |-----------|
D |-----0--2--|
A |--3--------|
E |-----------|
F F/C F F/C
...Let's do it, let's do it,
F F/C C7 C7/G
Do it 'til our hearts go boom,
C7 C7/G C7 C7/G F F/C F7
Go native, cre - ative, living in the living room,
Bb G#dim/B
This folly ...is jolly,
F/C D7
Bend me over backwards on m' 'Hostess Trolley',
G7 C7 F F/C F
Let's do it, let's do it to - night!
[Verse 6]
But he said...
e |-----------|
B |-----------|
G |-----------|
D |-----0--2--|
A |--3--------|
E |-----------|
F F/C F F/C
...I can't do it, I can't do it,
F F/C C7 C7/G
Me 'eavy breathing days have gone,
C7 C7/G C7 C7/G
I'm older, feel colder,
F F7
It's other things that turn me on,
Bb G#dim/B
I'm imploring, I'm boring,
F/C D7
Let me read this catalogue on vinyl flooring,
G7 C7 F
I can't do it, I can't do it to - night!
[KEY CHANGE - Verse 7]
So she said...
e |-----------|
B |-----------|
G |-----------|
D |--0--2--4--|
A |-----------|
E |-----------|
G G/D G G/D
Let's do it, let's do it,
G G/D D7 D7/A
Have a crazy night of love,
D7 D7/A D7 D7/A
I'll strip bare, I'll just wear...
G G7
...Sti - lettos and an oven glove,
C Bbdim/Db
Don't starve a ...girl of a palaver,
G/D E7
Dangle from the wardrobe in your Balaclava,
A7 D7 G
Let's do it, let's do it to - night!
[Verse 8]
But he said...
e |-----------|
B |-----------|
G |-----------|
D |--0--2--4--|
A |-----------|
E |-----------|
G G/D G G/D
...I can't do it, I can't do it,
G G/D D7 D7/A
I know I'd only get it wrong,
D7 D7/A D7 D7/A
Don't angle ...for me to dangle,
G G7
Me arms 'ave never been that strong,
C Bbdim/Db
Stop pouting, stop shouting,
G/D E7
You know I pulled a muscle when I did that grouting,
A7 D7 G
I can't do it, I can't do it to - night!
[Verse 9]
e |-----------|
B |-----------|
G |-----------|
D |--0--2--4--|
A |-----------|
E |-----------|
G G/D G G/D
Let's do it, let's do it,
G G/D D7 D7/A
Share a night of wild ro - mance,
D7 D7/A D7 D7/A
Fre - netic, ...po - etic,
G G7
This could be your last big chance...
C Bbdim/Db
...To quote Milton, to eat Stilton,
G/D E7
To roll in gay abandon on the 'Tufted Wilton',
A7 D7 G
Let's do it, let's do it to - night!
[KEY CHANGE - Verse 10]
e |-----------|
B |-----------|
G |--------0--|
D |--1--3-----|
A |-----------|
E |-----------|
Ab Ab/Eb Ab Ab/Eb
I can't do it, I can't do it,
Ab Ab/Eb Eb7 Eb7/Bb
I've other little jobs on hand,
Eb7 Eb7/Bb Eb7 Eb7/Bb
Don't grouse...a - round the house,
Ab Ab7
I've got a busy evening planned,
Db Bdim/D
Stop nagging, I'm flagging,
Ab/Eb F7
You know, as well as I do, that the pipes want lagging,
Bb7 Eb7 Ab
I can't do it, I can't do it to - night!
[Verse 11]
e |-----------|
B |-----------|
G |--------0--|
D |--1--3-----|
A |-----------|
E |-----------|
Ab Ab/Eb Ab Ab/Eb
Let's do it, let's do it,
Ab Ab/Eb Eb7 Eb7/Bb
While I'm really in the mood,
Eb7 Eb7/Bb
Three cheers,
Eb7 Eb7/Bb Ab Ab7
...It's years since I caught you even semi - nude,
Db Bdim/D
Be drastic, gymnastic,
Ab/Eb F7
Wear your baggy Y-fronts with the loose elastic,
Bb7 Eb7 Ab
But... let's do it, let's do it to - night!
[Verse 12]
e |-----------|
B |-----------|
G |--------0--|
D |--1--3-----|
A |-----------|
E |-----------|
Ab Ab/Eb Ab Ab/Eb
I can't do it, I can't do it,
Ab Ab/Eb Eb7 Eb7/Bb
I must refuse to get un - dressed,
Eb7 Eb7/Bb
I feel silly,
Eb7 Eb7/Bb Ab Ab7
It's too chilly to go without m' thermal vest,
Db Bdim/Eb
Don't choose me, don't use me,
Ab/Eb F7
Me' mother sent a note to say you must excuse me,
Bb7 Eb7 Ab
I can't do it, I can't do it to - night!
[KEY CHANGE - Verse 13]
e |-----------|
B |-----------|
G |--------1--|
D |--2--4-----|
A |-----------|
E |-----------|
A A/E A A/E
Let's do it, let's do it,
A A/E E7 E7/B
I feel I abso - lutely must,
E7 E7/B E7 E7/B
I won't ex - empt you, want to tempt you,
A A7
Want to drive you mad with lust,
D Cdim/D#
No cautions, just contortions,
A/E F#7
Smear an avocado on m' lower portions,
B7 E7 A
Let's do it, let's do it to - night!
[Verse 14]*
e |-----------|
B |-----------|
G |--------1--|
D |--2--4-----|
A |-----------|
E |-----------|
A A/E A A/E
I can't do it, I can't do it,
A A/E E7 E7/B
It's really not my cup of tea,
E7 E7/B E7 E7/B
I'm harassed, ...em - barrassed,
A A7
I wish you hadn't picked on me,
D Cdim/D#
No dramas, give me m' pyjamas,
A/E F#7
The only girl I'm mad about is Judith Chalmers,
B7 E7 A
I can't do it, I can't do it to - night!
[KEY CHANGE - Verse 15]
e |-----------|
B |-----------|
G |-----------|
D |--3--2--1--|
A |-----------|
E |-----------|
Bb Bb/F Bb Bb/F
Let's do it, let's do it,
Bb Bb/F F7 F7/C
I really want to run a - mok,
F7 F7/C F7 F7/C
Let's wiggle, ...let's jiggle,
Bb Bb7
Let's really make the rafters rock,
Eb Dbdim/E
Be mighty, be flighty,
Bb/F G7
Come and melt the buttons on m' flameproof nightie,
C7 F7
Let's do it, let's do it...
Bb
...to - night----------------------------!
e |--6-5-3------------|------------------|
B |--------6-4-3------|------------------|
G |--------------5-3--|--3-2-0-----------|
D |-------------------|--------3-1-0-----|
A |-------------------|--------------3---|
E |-------------------|------------------|
[Verse 16]
Bb Bb/F Bb Bb/F
Let's do it, let's do it,
Bb Bb/F F7 F7/C
I really want to rant and rave,
F7 F7/C F7 F7/C
Let's go, 'cause I know...
Bb Bb7
...Just how I want you to be - have,
Eb Dbdim/E
Not bleakly, not meekly,
Bb/F G7
Beat me on the bottom with m' 'Woman's Weekly',
C7 F7
Let's do it, let's do it...
Bb Bb B C Db Bb
...to - night-------------------------------------------!
e |--6-5-3------------|-----------------|
B |--------6-4-3------|-----------------|
G |--------------5-3--|--3-2-0----------|
D |-------------------|--------3-1-0----|
A |-------------------|--------------3--|
E |-------------------|-----------------|
---------------------------------------------------------
[Alternative Verse 14]*
e |-----------|
B |-----------|
G |--------1--|
D |--2--4-----|
A |-----------|
E |-----------|
A A/E A A/E
I can't do it, I can't do it,
A A/E E7 E7/B
It's really not my cup of tea,
E7 E7/B E7 E7/B
I'm harassed, ...em - barrassed,
A A7
I wish you hadn't picked on me,
D Cdim/D#
No barter, non- starter,
A/E F#7
I feel about as sensous as Jimmy Carter,
B7 E7 A
I can't do it, I can't do it to - night!
