Tim Minchin - If You Really Loved Me
DVD: So Live
[Chords]
Gmmaj7 354333
Bb6 x13033
D+ xx0332
Eb7 x68686
Fmaj7 132211
Ammaj7 x02110
Fm6 xx3131
Cmmaj7 x35443
[Verse 1]
Gm Gmmaj7
If you really loved me the way you say you do
Gm7 C7
If you love me half as much as I love you
Cm7 Bb6
You would pluck a planet from the sky
A7 D+
You'd use a star to dot the "I"
D Gm Gmmaj7
In "I love you", that is what you'd do
Gm7 C7
You'd take a dreary day and you would paint it blue
Cm7 Bb6
If you loved me unconditionally
A7 D+
These are the things that you would do for me
Gm Gmmaj7
Because I need you like a fish needs the sea
Gm7 C7
Like a fire needs oxygen, like a flower needs a bee
Cm7 Bb6
And if you really cared for me
A7 D+
You'd let me video you while you wee
Gm Gmmaj7
Standing up in the bath - I shouldn't even have to ask
Gm7 C7
Perhaps you'd even store a little more in a flask
Cm7 Bb6
These are just the things that people do
A D Gm
When their love for one another is true, ba da da
[Verse 2]
Gm Gmmaj7
We go together like a cracker and Brie
Gm7 C7
Like racism and ignorance, like bling and R&B
Cm7 Bb6
And if you really want to show you care
A7 D+
You'd let me wear your underwear
D Gm Gmmaj7
When we visit your mum's, for a bit of harmless fun
Gm7 C7
I just like talking about your childhood with lace between my buns
Cm7 Bb6
There's no reason for a big to-do
A D Gm
If your love one another is true, ba da da
Gm Gmmaj7
We go together like a bird and a nest
Gm7 C7
Like Internet and porn, like guns and the us
Cm7 Bb6
And if you love me like you say you do
A7 D+
You'd purchase thirty cockatoos
D Gm Gmmaj7
And teach them to fly in formation in the sky
Gm7 C7
And shit the words "Tim is God" on my ex-girlfriend's Hyundai
[Interlude]
Cm7 Bb6
Sure, it might be easier with doves
A D Eb7
But shirking challenges is not what love's all about
D Eb7
Love is not all wine and roses
D Eb7
Sometimes it's handcuffs and cheese
C F
No one said love is for free
Fmaj7
And if you agree with that
F7
You'd sing me passages from the Koran
D7 Gm
Wearing nothing but a Bob the Builder hat
Gmmaj7
To the tune of Waltzing Matilda
Gm7 C7 Eb F E E7
I just love the combination of Islam, nationalism and builder
[Solo]
*crazy stuff happens*
Am Ammaj7 Am7 D7 Dm7 C B7 E
[Verse 3]
Am Ammaj7
Because I need you, like a tick needs a tock
Am7 D7
Like bananas need pyjamas, like a nun needs cock
Dm7 C
But if you want to put your love for me first
B E
You wouldn't go through childbirth
E7 Am Ammaj7
You'd agree to adopt, so that you could stay thin
Am7 D7
We'll get a Chinese kid - it could teach us Mandarin!
Dm7 C
And communists don't make as much noise
B E Am G
And they're really good at sharing their toys
[Verse 4]
Cm Cmmaj7
Because I dig you like an Aussie digs pies
Cm7 F7
Like born-agains dig Jesus, like Jesus dug guys
Fm7 Eb
And if you love me just a modicum
D G
You’d softly rub my perineum
G7 Cm Cmmaj7
And stick your finger up my bum as I’m about to cum
Cm7 F7
I’ve heard that it’s quite acceptable and reasonably fun
Fm7 Eb
Not that I'm saying that I'd want you to
Fm7 Eb
But hypothetically it’s something you might do
Fm7 Eb
If you loved me unconditionally
D Fm6 C#maj7
Like letting me video you while you wee
Cmaj7
Assuming there’s nothing worth watching on TV
