G D G Dear Sir I write this note to you to tell you of my plight C G D For at the time of writing it I'm not a pretty sight C G D C My body is all black and blue, my face a deathly grey G C D G And I write this note to say why I am not at work today G D G While working on the fourteenth floor some bricks I had to clear C G D But tossing them down from such a height was not a good idea C G D C The foreman wasn't very pleased he is an arkward sod G C D G And he said I had to cart them down the ladders in me hod G D G Well clearing all these bricks by hand it was so very slow C G D So I hoisted up a barrel and secured a rope below C G D C But in me haste to do the job, I was to blind to see G C D G That a barrel full of building bricks was heavier than me G D G And so when I untied the rope the barrel fell like lead C G D And clinging tightly to the rope I started up instead C G D C I shot up like a rocket, and to my dismay I found G C D G That halfway up I met the bloody barrel coming down G D G Well the barrel broke me shoulder as to the ground it sped C G D And when I reached the top I banged the pulley with me head C G D C But I clung on tightly numb with shock from this almighty blow G C D G While the barrel spilled out half it's bricks some fourteen floors below G D G When these bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor C G D I then outweighed the barrel and so started down once more C G D C But I clung on tightly to the rope me body racked with pain G C D G And halfway down I met the bloody barrel once again G D G Now the force of this collision halfway down the office block C G D Caused multiple abrasions and a nasty case of shock C G D C But I clung on tightly to the rope as I fell towards the ground G C D G And I landed on the broken bricks the barrel had scattered round. G D G Now as I lay there on the ground I thought I'd passed the worst C G D But the barrel hit the pulley wheel and then the bottom burst C G D C A shower of bricks rained down on me I didn't have a hope G C D G As I lay there bleeding on the ground I let go of the bloody rope G D G The barrel now being heavier so started down once more C G D It landed right across me as I lay there on the floor C G D C It broke three ribs and my left arm and I can only say G C D G I hope you`ll understand why I am not at work today