Everybody Shut Up (I Have an Erection)
Ninja Sex Party
Album: Strawberries and Cream
***
[Spoken Pre-chorus 1]
G A Bm Bm
Em F#m Bm Bm
"Oh my god, Stacy! Did I tell you about my date with Steve last week?
You went out with Steve? He's so cute!
I know! He took me out to this little restaurant-"
[Chorus 1]
G
Everybody shut up!
A
I have an erection
Bm
It only happens 87 times a day
G
Just stop what you're doing
A
And witness penis perfection
D
This is more important than what you have to say!
G A
Your story can wait, 'cause I am very erect
Bm Bm
Now let's all take a minute to watch my dick and reflect
Em F#m
Your spirit's in peace, no need to call the police
Bm
Please hold your applause
[Spoken Pre-chorus 2]
G A Bm Bm
Em F#m Bm Bm
"In conclusion, your honor, in light of this new evidence,
I would propose that the murderer was not my client, but... Mrs. Donnovan!"
[Chorus 2]
G
Everybody shut up!
A
I have an erection
Bm
If Justice is blind, she's gonna miss this display
G A
It's hard as steel but still evaded metal detection
D
This is more important than what you have to say!
G A
Judge, don't give me that robe, 'cause then nobody could see
Bm
This pillar of awesome that's sticking straight out of me
Em F#m
Who could argue a case with so much dick in your face?
Bm
Please hold your applause
[Bridge]
Em
Do you ever take a moment
F#m
And look up at the stars?
G
And think about your life
A
And just how stupid you are
Em
If it makes you feel better
F#m C
I'm a fucking rock star
With an amazing penis
Em
But enough about you
F#m
Let's focus more on my crotch
G
It's as tangy as whiskey
A
And hits you harder than scotch
Em
You might not get what I'm sayin'
F#m
So just sit back and watch
D
Look, (gasp!) it's still my penis
[Spoken Pre-chorus 3]
G A Bm Bm
Em F#m Bm Bm
"Ladies and gentlemen, as president of the United States
I must sometimes make grave decisions.
I come to you today to tell you that the United States
has decided to declare war on-"
[Chorus 3]
G
Shut up!
A
Mr. President, I have an erection!
Bm
Here's a tricky dick that cannot be impeached
G A
Check out my nutsack, it could swing an election
D
This is more important than your boring-ass speech!
G A
For one nation, indivisible under God
Bm
We all stand together and peep my glorious rod
Em F#m
Hey, those guys look fun, oh wait, are they holding guns?
Bm D
Please hold your applause
