xThe Arrogant Worms - If I Were Prime Minister
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If I were Prime Minister, I'd transform the land
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All things would be glorious, under my firm strong hand
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I'd enlarge Prince Edward Island, and shrink the tax on booze
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If  I were Prime Minister, the Leafs would never lose
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If I were Prime Minister, French and English, would be gone
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There'd be no more two solitudes 'cause we'd all speak Klingon
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And I'd give my buddies jobs, they weren't qualified for
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Wait, I'm so sorry, I think that's been done before
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If I were Prime Minister, Canadians would tan
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In the Gulf of Mexico, where I'd put Newfoundland
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If I were Prime Minister, I would use my power
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To finally make the donut, our official flower
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And I'd make it illegal to sit and bitch and whine
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Though that might leave Canadians with too much spare time
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And I would be Prime Minister if only for one flaw
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I don't think that I could ever live in Ottowa
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If I were, If I were, If I were Prime Minister    (repeat)
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I'd bathe in Maple syrup and I'd have a talking moose
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And Mounties would massage me to keep me nice and loose
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I'd get rid of the Queen, replace her with my cat
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Appointment to the Senate would be trial by combat
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I'd solve all the problems of this country's apparatus
  
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By granting every person, nation status
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I'd encourage global warming, move the jetstream further north
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And I'd ban all politicians, except for me of course
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If I were, If I were, If I were Prime Minister   
                      I'd be   super   great, and you'd all
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If I were,     If I were,       If I were Prime Minister 
love me, you'd have to, 'cause I'd make it the law