x01. Bluebirds
02. Hard to Be a Girl
03. Jessica
04. Musical Ladders
05. The Prince's Bed
06. Bunnyranch
07. Friends of Mine
08. Frozen in Time
09. Broken Joystick
10. I Wanna Die
11. Salty Candy
12. No Legs
13. We're Not Supposed to Be Lovers
14. Secret Tongues
15. Bungee
01. Bluebirds
[Intro]
F
[Verse 1]
F
Bluebirds are so natural
Bb F
I wanna buy them for my friends
F
Bluebirds are so dismal
Bb F
And I want to trade mine in
Bb F
And I don't go out for brunch
Bb F
And I don't go out for cunts
Bb F
And I don't go out for months
Bb F
Without my Barnes and Nobles credit card.
[Verse 2]
F
Cleaning out my wisdom teeth
Bb F
I found a diamond in my gums
F
Cleaning out the kitchen
Bb F
Found a spoon that played the drums
Bb F
And despite the things they say
Bb F
I gave it up that day
Bb F
I'd never go that way
C Bb F
Unless your daddy nailed me to the cross
[Chorus]
F
Suicide, suicide
Bb F
Leaning out to everyone that hides
Bb F
breaking the chains on the things down low
Bb C
Where it stops I don't know how that goes
[Verse 3]
F
Bluebirds are so natural
Bb F
I wanna buy them for my friends
F
Bluebirds are so dismal
Bb F
And I want to trade mine in
Bb F
And despite the things they say
Bb F
I gave it up that day
Bb F
I'd never go that way
C F
Unless your daddy nailed me to the cross
C Bb F
Your daddy nailed me to the cross
02. Hard to Be a Girl
[Intro]
Bm D A G
[Verse 1]
Bm D
Hard to be a girl
A G
So nice to be a boy
Bm D
In my room at night
A G
Not a pretty sight
[Verse 2]
Bm Em
Here's an empty kiss
A D D/C#
Marching to the rhythm of the payroll
Bm Em
I can be a good boy too
A D D/C#
Just let me out of the stable
[Verse 3]
Bm D
Sausages and eggs
A G
And hot and sour soup
Bm D
Thank me for your time
A G
'Cause I can be as bad as you
[Verse 4]
Bm Em
Hard to be a girl
A D D/C#
That's what the oracle told me
Bm Em
I don't care what she says
A D D/C#
I assume it's best to be lonely
[Outro]
Bm D A G
03. Jessica
Capo at 4
[Intro]
C Em Am G
e-0-0-0-0-0--0-0-0-0-0--0-0-0-x-0--3-3-3-3-3-|
B-1-1-1-3-1--0-0-0-1-0--1-1-1-0-1--0-0-0-0-0-|
G-0-0-0-0-0--0-0-0-0-0--2-2-2-4-2--0-0-0-2-0-|
D-2-2-2-2-2--2-2-2-2-2--2-2-2-0-2--0-0-0-0-0-|
A-3-3-3-3-3--2-2-2-2-2--0-0-0-x-0--2-2-2-2-2-|
E------------0-0-0-0-0-------------3-3-3-3-3-|
[Verse 1]
C
Jessica Simpson
Em
Where has your love gone?
Am G
It's not in your music,no
[Verse 2]
C
You need a vacation
Em
To wake up the cavemen
Am G
And take them to mexico
[Chorus]
C Em
Jessica, Jessica Simpson
Am G
You've got it all wrong
C Em
Your fraudulent smile
Am
The way that you faked it
G
The day that you died
[Verse 3]
C
My body's in shambles
Em
Encrusted in brambles
Am G
That sharpen the air I breathe
[Verse 4]
C
What's on the menu?
Em
Jessica can you
Am G
Take down my order please?
[Chorus]
C Em
Jessica, Jessica Simpson
Am G
You've got it all wrong
C Em
Your fraudulent smile
Am
The way that you faked it
G
The day that you died
[Verse 5]
C
Tomorrow gets closer
Em
A purple bulldozer
Am G
Is calling you on the phone
[Verse 6]
C
Your love life precedes you
Em
Your son-in-law feeds you
Am G
Injections of cortisone
[Chorus]
C Em
Jessica, Jessica Simpson
Am G
You've got it all wrong
C Em
Your fraudulent smile
Am
The way that you faked it
G
The day that you died
[Verse 7]
C
Jessica Simpson
Em
Where has your love gone?
Am G
It's not in your music so where has it gone then?
C
Jessica
04. Musical Ladders
[Intro]
D
[Verse 1]
D D7
Musical ladders leaning on mountains
G D
Bathed in white laughter under the sun
D7 G
Somebody's birthday came stumbling towards us
D G
Wrapped in green gladness under the sun
[Chorus]
Em A
We're gonna make it through this war tonight
Em A
Someone hold this child up to the light
[Verse 2]
D D7
Prostitute fingers fumbling with matches
G D
Tucked in red couches under green moons
D7 G
Mexican waitress got caught in the crossfire
D G
Of militant families bursting with juice
[Chorus]
Em A
We're gonna break it to your folks tonight
Em A
Kinda hope your pops don't hear me right
[Outro]
A7 D
Oh yeah
05. The Prince's Bed
[Verse 1]
D G
If there's a heart inside your eye
D G
If there's a clock inside your head
D G
If there's a girl outside your bed
D G A
Put your face in my place
[Verse 2]
D G
My head is falling off my head
D G
And I don't want to see clear again
D G
Everyone's talking about jesus
D G
Everyone's talking about jesus
D G
Everyone's talking about jesus
D G A
Everyone's f*cking my princess
[Verse 3]
D G
Goodnight to my new dead wife
D G
Goodnight to my nazi friends
D G
I'm standing on the tip of my stinking ship
[Interlude]
D G
[Verse 4]
D G
Hey princess over there
D G
Why you sitting over there?
D G
When you've got a warm spot to share
[Chorus]
D G
In the prince's bed
A D G
In the prince's bed
A D G
In the prince's bed
A D G
In the prince's bed
A D G
In the prince's bed
[Bridge]
G A D
Oh i know you've thought about it
G A D
And i knew you want to have it
G A D
Now i always have my camera
[Chorus]
D G
In the prince's bed
A D G
In the prince's bed
A D G
In the prince's bed
A D G
In the prince's bed
06. Bunnyranch
[Intro]
B C#m D#m C#m
B C#m D#m C#m
[Verse 1]
B C#m D#m C#m
Bind me, gag me, take me to the bunny ranch
B C#m D#m C#m
People dying, kill me in the packing house
B C#m D#m C#m
Even you have to win sometimes dear
B C#m D#m C#m
Poison needle smoker, break a broken window, mind you
[Guitar solo]
e|-7-11-9-12-11-11-11-11/14-11-9-|
B|-------------------------------|
G|-8-11-9-13-11-11-11-11/15-11-9-| (x2)
D|-------------------------------|
A|-------------------------------|
E|-------------------------------|
[Verse 2]
B C#m D#m C#m
One kiss, two kiss how you make it look like that?
B C#m D#m C#m
Do me dolly, rape in the parking lot
B C#m D#m C#m
Even you have to win sometimes dear
B C#m D#m C#m
Poison needle smoker, break a broken window, mind you
[Outro]
B C#m D#m C#m
Bind me, gag me, take me to the bunny ranch
07. Friends of Mine
To play with the album,
tune your guitar down 1/2 step (1 fret)
[Intro]
E C#m A B
E C#m A B
[Verse 1]
E C#m
And we live on borrowed time
A B
But this headshot's pretty good
E C#m
I've been scheming for too long
A B
I was starstruck by your mom
[Bridge]
E C#m
We fall in love by accident
F#m B
A heavenly coincedence
E C#m
No matter what you think is true
F#m B
Let me introduce you to
[Chorus]
A B E
Some friends of mine
A B E
Oh friends of mine
A B E
Oh friends of mine
A B E
Oh friends of mine
[Verse 2]
E C#m
And we break for passing cars
A B
In the pistol-ripping chase
E C#m
I regret the drugs you lost
A B
So I skipped our second date
[Bridge]
E C#m
We fall in love by accident
F#m B
A heavenly coincedence
E C#m
no matter what you think is true
F#m B
Let me introduce you to
[Chorus]
A B E
Some friends of mine
A B E
Oh friends of mine
A B E
Oh friends of mine
A B E
Oh friends of mine
[Solo]
E C#m A B
[Bridge]
E C#m
We fall in love by accident
F#m B
A heavenly coincedence
E C#m
no matter what you think is true
F#m B
Let me introduce you to
[Outro]
A B E
Can't figure out this place
A B E
Guess someone hates my guts
A B C#m
I handed him the sign
A B E
Oh friends of mine
08. Frozen in Time
[Intro]
e------------------5-5--|
B------9-9---------5-5--|
G------9-9-9-------6-6--|
D----9-----9-----7------|
A--7-------7------------|
E--------------5--------|
[Verse 1]
E A
Frozen in time forever
F#m B
Carrying that torch for so long
E A
Can you hear my heart believe it
F#m B
Frozen in the index of time
[Bridge]
E E/D# C#m
They singled out my tongue
A
In front of everyone
B E
Who was watching my show
E E/D# C#m
They say that i'm no good
A
I'm sorry that i could
B E
Be that way too you
[Verse 2]
E A
Dusting off the Roman dollar
F#m B
Searching for some work on the side
E A
I'm just closer to death than ever
F#m B
Frozen in the index of time
[Bridge]
E E/D# C#m
They just don't have the minds
A
To pay me for my crimes
B E
That they made me do
E E/D# C#m
They don't care how it feels
A
To them this isn't real
B E
In my magical womb
[Verse 3]
E A
Frozen in time forever
F#m B
Carrying that torch for so long
E A
Can you hear my heart believe it
F#m B
Frozen in the index of time, baby
09. Broken Joystick
F#: 244322
Bm: x24432
[Intro]
e---2---0h2-6-2-0--------2-5-2-----------2-5-2------|
B-----------------2--3-----------3---3-----------2--|
G-----3----------------4-------4-------4-------4----|
D---------------------------------------------------|
A------------------2---------------2----------------|
E-2-------------------------------------------------|
N.C
Skeleton of a smoking plane
N.C
Catch a train to an open vein
[Verse 1]
F#
The smoke just cleared
Bm
Something went wrong
F#
The catfish choked
Bm
The sky is gone
F#
Beneath their boats
Bm
The forecast floats
F#
The joystick choked
Bm
The joystick smokes
[Chorus]
F#
Mariachi, close the door on everyone
F#
Ku klux klansmen dance around the mountain
Bm F#
Plugging up the holes in their harmonicas
[Intro]
N.C
Push away from the overdose
N.C.
Just in time for the fairy boast
10. I Wanna Die
To play along with the album,
tune your guitar down 1/2 step
[Intro]
Eb|-----------------------------------------------------------------------|
Bb|-------------------------------------5-------5-------------------------|
Gb|-----9-------9-------9-------------6---6---6---6-------8-------8-------|
Db|---9---9---9---9---9---9---9-6-9---------------------9---9---9---9-----|
Ab|-7-------6-----------------------------------------------------------6-|
Eb|-----------------9-------9-------5-------5-------5-7-------7-------7---|
[Verses]
Eb|-----------------------------------------------------------------------|
Bb|-------------------------------------5-------5-------------------------|
Gb|-----9-------9-------9-------------6---6---6---6-------8-------8-------|
Db|---9---9---9---9---9---9---9-6-9---------------------9---9---9---9-----|
Ab|-7-------6-----------------------------------------------------------6-|
Eb|-----------------9-------9-------5-------5-------5-7-------7-------7---|
11. Salty Candy
[Whole song]
e----------|
B----------|
G----------|
D----------|
A--8-8-8-8-|
E--6-6-9-9-|
[Verse 1]
N.C.
In the front of the line, now I'm back at home
N.C.
I wanna live my life in a bathtub
N.C.
Roll the dirty dice and you pay in blood
N.C.
Stole a maxi-pad because I've been in love
[Verse 2]
N.C.
It reminds me of salty candy, seaman shanties
N.C.
Sailboats grinding up against your back
N.C.
I don't need no sentimental pencil stencil
N.C.
Feelings rising opposites attract
[Bridge]
N.C.
She made me feel so small, I had no say at all
N.C.
She looked so cute they say but I don't know her that way
[Verse 3]
N.C.
Heaven hold me back, I've got twenty wives
N.C.
I've got my jesus 'jammies, need some exercise
N.C.
Take a walk at night past the dating bar
N.C.
I wanna live my life like a trackstar
12. No Legs
Capo 1
[Intro]
e---0---2-0----------5--------------4-0------0---2-0---|
B-----2-------------------------3-0------------2-------|
G-2---------2----6-----6-------------------2---------2-|
D------------------7-------7--2---------2--------------|
A------------------------7-----------------------------|
E--------------5---------------------------------------|
[Chorus]
N.C.
There's no wrong way to f*ck a girl with no legs
N.C.
Just tell her you love her as she's crawling away
N.C.
There's no wrong way to f*ck a bitch with no faith
N.C.
Now you'll never be sad again
[Verse 1]
F# Bm
Loving you are the two best things in a world that's skipping town
E F#
Reaching blind into the deepest mouth in the brownest place around
[Chorus]
N.C.
There's something amiss in her cum-stained lips
N.C.
So I get the first kiss before she takes the last bite
N.C.
Genital outlaws in a positive way
N.C.
And an everything bagel too
[Verse 2]
F# Bm
Getting strangled by the junkie priest as the boys get stoned in school
E F#
there's a knock at your door and your parents come in they thought you were a different girl
[Chorus]
N.C.
So if you're alone when your parents aren't home
N.C.
And no one can see your incestous tree
N.C.
No need to contain what the sparrows can say
N.C.
Now you'll never be sad again
13. We're Not Supposed to Be Lovers
To play along with the album,
tune your guitar 1/2 step down
[Intro]
E
[Verse 1]
E Abm
Picture a place that's far from danger
E Abm
A nicer place to cash your chips
A
I'm not the one holding you hostage
E B E
Squeezed in between my lips
[Verse 2]
E Abm
We're not supposed to be lovers
E Abm
Or friends like they'd have us believe
A
We're not supposed to know each other
E B E
Accept my apology
[Verse 3]
E Abm
I was a babe stuck in a tree branch
E Abm
Banging on my rusty cradle bars
A
Until I stole your middle finger
E B E
Now who's the one in charge?
[Verse 4]
E Abm
We're not supposed to be lovers
E Abm
Or friends like they'd have us believe
A
We're not supposed to know each other
E B E
Accept my apology
[Chorus]
E B
Vein underground
E B A
Fist face down
C#m B
Bruise as they heal my pain
E B
Food on the flight
E B A
Breakfast bite
C#m B
Dropped from the orange juice crane
[Verse 5]
E Abm
Picture a person you'd forgotten
E Abm
Kissing your brother or your friend
A
Picture a wounded entertainer
E B E
Cutting his hair again
14. Secret Tongues
[Intro]
C F
C F
[Verse 1]
C F
There are men in shades just standing around
C F
These bleeding stars, the paradox
C F
Let the eyes of god be our guide to find a
G
Gentle path
[Verse 2]
C F
There's a broken record playing a tune
C F
To the floating waves of the antennas
C F
And you were just a little guy
G
And I was little too
[Interlude]
C F C F
C F G
[Verse 3]
C F
And everything is just floating freely just
C F
Rocking around like a rocking horse just
C F
Jiggling around like silly putty and who
G
Are you and I?
[Verse 4]
C F
And you were looking at me smiling
C F
The aliens were just arriving
C F G
Wherever they are headed next speaking secret tongues.
15. Bungee
[Verse 1]
G Dm
She used to live, with an Indian chief.
G Dm
Who gave her the clap, that he got from a priest.
G Dm
Night after night, I would lie with her pets
G Dm
Like a mail order bride, in a box by the steps.
[Chorus]
G Dm
She went bungee jumping,
G Dm
One fine day,
G Dm
Off the cliffs of our friendship,
G Dm
And at the bottom she stayed.
[Verse 2]
G Dm
When they told me, that her body was found
G Dm
An astronaut drowned, in the Long Island Sound.
G Dm
I tripped down the stairs in my basketball shoes.
G Dm
And paddled downstream, in my fathers canoe.
[Chorus]
G Dm
In the Kingdom of Bungee,
G Dm
the castle's been stained.
G Dm
But the Kingdom of Incest,
G Dm
still has a mighty fine name
